I Feel Like Such a MOM

Ironically, I don't know why I feel that way. I am a mom, so shouldn't I feel like a mom all the time? I'm sitting here watching a marathon of V (yeah...I know. But there was nothing else on TV) and the thought "you are such a mom" just popped into my head. Maybe it's because I spent most of my day patching up holes over the knee that the boys put in their jeans. Or maybe it was watching Elmo for 2 hours. Maybe it was the six bedtime stories. Who knows? But the thought just hit me. I don't even know. It just sounds silly in my head.

Yeah, I am mom. But I'm not the traditional mom. Is there even such a thing as the traditional mom anymore? But really what is a traditional mom. Is that just the bullshit we see on TV where the mother is just so freaking happy all the times that she farts rainbows and spits sunshine? Seriously?! Where the hell do producers get that crap?! Why can't moms just be women? Having a kid doesn't make you instantly happy. Well, okay. It does. But you know what I mean. People shouldn't depend on having kids to make them happy. That's a personal flaw that needs to be addressed by a therapist. Children bring sooooo much happiness and joy. But damn if they don't bring a lot of heartache and tears too. Because watching someone you loved and shaped over the years do something to hurt you hurts. Dang Makita, why you getting so deep? LOL, I don't know I just went all off on a tangent. Don't worry the boys haven't done anything to hurt me. Or make me sad or disappointed. But you know what? I'm realistic. I don't expect my kids to make me proud every single moment of their lives and mines. And you know what? I don't want my kids living to make me happy.

I want my boys to grow up to be independent thinkers who know what they want in life. I want them to understand that though they will disappoint me at times and that we may not see eye to eye on everything, but that will never stop me from loving them. That when they're wrong they're wrong and I will not support wrong decisions, yet I will still love them. And when they are right and others think they are wrong, I will stand by them. Nothing can ever make me stop loving them. Nor will or do I love one of them more than the others. I saw this quote the other day and I framed it then hung it next to a photo of me and the boys.

"How then do you love each of your multiple children , if not the best or even equally? The answer is you love them uniquely." -Marianne E. Neifert

And that is how I love my boys. And yes, I do it feeling like SUCH a mom. LOL