One would think with all of the big decisions I made this year I'd be fearless by now. Well, I'm not. I know what I want to do with my life once I finish school, but I have no idea what I want to do in the meantime. I have so many ideas and so much on my plate. But, I really just don't know. I want to finish my novels, I want to start my own business, I want to just lay on my ass. The only thing I do know is that I never want to work for the man again. Ever. Unless its on my own terms in which I'm free to tell them to kiss the fattest part of my ass anytime I chose or deem necessary.
I have so many ideas, but I'm scared to take a leap and just grab one. *sigh* I feel like I just want to do so much. And that I'm being unrealistic. *sigh* I've got to figure it out.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
On My Way Back to Fat Assness
Seriously, my ass is getting fat. And, yes I really am talking about my ass. Ack! I worked so hard in 2009 and maintaining the weight loss in 2010 to having a fat ass again. Okay, let me be honest. I lost most of my weight this year because of stress and grief. So it kind of doesn't count. Really though, it's not my fault. I blame Nabisco for making chocolate covered Ritz cracker and the brown sugar ones...Mmm...that taste so good crushed over vanilla ice cream. And those guys at Ben and Jerry's are to blame too. Cherry Garcia ice cream is just deliciousness in a carton. And damn you Kroger's for always having it on sale. And that damn good red beans and rice recipe. How is a girl supposed to survive all the temptation?! It's everywhere! HELP!!!
So who can I call to help me get my shit together and get rid of this fat ass? It's a kick, it's a punch, it's a "dig deep". It's Billy Blanks!!! My tried and true homeboy that helps me get it together. And, my kickboxing bag. Yeah, that's who I need to call. I gotta keep it together. I have three kids who are all boys. They are super active and expect me to keep up with them. So I gotta do what I gotta do. Texas is so freaking unpredictable with the weather so it's hard to just be spontaneous and go to the park. But there is tons of stuff I can do in the house. So I'm going to get on it.
Makita, are you doing this because it's the New Year and everybody and their grandmama likes to lose weight after the holidays? Nope. I've never been into doing that or any kind of resolution. I just need to get it together for me and for my boys. I was doing so well too. But then crap just kept happening and things just started weighing down on me. But I got this. I will not be defeated by fat assness again. Nope.
So who can I call to help me get my shit together and get rid of this fat ass? It's a kick, it's a punch, it's a "dig deep". It's Billy Blanks!!! My tried and true homeboy that helps me get it together. And, my kickboxing bag. Yeah, that's who I need to call. I gotta keep it together. I have three kids who are all boys. They are super active and expect me to keep up with them. So I gotta do what I gotta do. Texas is so freaking unpredictable with the weather so it's hard to just be spontaneous and go to the park. But there is tons of stuff I can do in the house. So I'm going to get on it.
Makita, are you doing this because it's the New Year and everybody and their grandmama likes to lose weight after the holidays? Nope. I've never been into doing that or any kind of resolution. I just need to get it together for me and for my boys. I was doing so well too. But then crap just kept happening and things just started weighing down on me. But I got this. I will not be defeated by fat assness again. Nope.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
It's a Wonderful Life
No, I'm not talking about the movie. Which, I actually can't stand. What? Wait? Did she really just say she doesn't like It's a Wonderful Life?! That's absurd! Well, it's true. I also hate The Wizard of Oz, The Sound of Music, and a bunch of other movies. But that's neither here nor there. You can rip me a new one later about that, lol. This is about my life...well, the lives of my boys and myself. And, indeed it is a wonderful life.
We had a great Christmas. The boys are now with their grandparents for the next week. But you know, it's not just Christmas that makes my life with them wonderful. It just is. I spent a lot of time crying, hurting, pissed the fuck off this year. I lost a lot this year. And I spent entirely too much time focused on that. I spent so much time focused on what and who I lost that I didn't fully recognize what I gained. I've said it before and I still mean it. 2010 sucked monkey balls. But, I also failed to realize or at least acknowledge that it was great too.
In hindsight, although it still hurts very much, I am thankful for the year I've had. I broke down many times, but I always got back up. Sometimes I got back up with a limp, sometimes I could only get up on one leg. But, I got up. And at times, when I just couldn't do it, I had people there to help me rise. I lost one of the most important people in my life. The man who has always loved me unconditionally, even when I was in the wrong. My father. My world felt destroyed. And I still miss him so much and some days I have to force myself out of bed because the grief is so strong. He left me, but he didn't leave me alone. I have gained so many wonderful new family members through friendship. I have a support system that lifts me up when I am down, strengthens me when I feel weak, and guides me when I feel lost. My love for my boys carries me through. The love I receive from my support system and boys holds me up. And that is why my life is wonderful.
We had a great Christmas. The boys are now with their grandparents for the next week. But you know, it's not just Christmas that makes my life with them wonderful. It just is. I spent a lot of time crying, hurting, pissed the fuck off this year. I lost a lot this year. And I spent entirely too much time focused on that. I spent so much time focused on what and who I lost that I didn't fully recognize what I gained. I've said it before and I still mean it. 2010 sucked monkey balls. But, I also failed to realize or at least acknowledge that it was great too.In hindsight, although it still hurts very much, I am thankful for the year I've had. I broke down many times, but I always got back up. Sometimes I got back up with a limp, sometimes I could only get up on one leg. But, I got up. And at times, when I just couldn't do it, I had people there to help me rise. I lost one of the most important people in my life. The man who has always loved me unconditionally, even when I was in the wrong. My father. My world felt destroyed. And I still miss him so much and some days I have to force myself out of bed because the grief is so strong. He left me, but he didn't leave me alone. I have gained so many wonderful new family members through friendship. I have a support system that lifts me up when I am down, strengthens me when I feel weak, and guides me when I feel lost. My love for my boys carries me through. The love I receive from my support system and boys holds me up. And that is why my life is wonderful.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Hallelujah! It's a Chicken Miracle!
The child has given up the cereal! At least for tonight. For the past 2 or 3 weeks, all my youngest would eat was cereal. Fruit Loops, Kix, Trix, Cheerios, Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, Raisin Bran (yeah, I was surprised at this one too), Cocoa Puffs, Fruity Pebbles, Honey Combs... Yes, we really went through all the cereals. And, yeah I know you're probably thinking "OMG, that's so much sugar!". Yep, deal with it! My kids hardly ever eat cereal, so it's never been an issue. We're a hot breakfast family. Ooh that reminds me of the wonderful gifts I received today. My Thursday morning sisters, a group of other women from all walks of life. We're a little family. So anyway, they really surprised me. I broke down in tears because they really are the best. The group gifted me with a crock pot, waffle maker (Belgian waffle maker), and a few gift cards. I truly feel blessed to have become apart of this amazing group of women. I love these ladies. So on Christmas morning, the boys and I will be enjoying chocolate chip Belgian waffles. YUM!!!! Their thoughtfulness will really help me carry through next semester. Especially, when I go back to working. And, their constant support (yep, they're all senior members of Team Makita) helps see me through. Which reminds me of yet another thing....I made the Dean's List this semester. Whoop whoop! I am so proud of myself. After almost 10 years, I can still kick ass.
So I am fully recovered...sort of...from the park adventure. And, I'm so ready to do it again. It's gotten cold again, so I don't know when we'll have a full on park day. But, I am ready for next time. I plan to buy a bike for myself and/or some skate so we can all ride bikes together. My friend Heather inspired me to bike ride with the boys. She's always posting about the cool stuff she does. She, like me, is also a mom of just boys. I love having 3 boys, although somewhere along the line I did think of having a little girl. But it's too late now for me to carry my old child, the shop is closed. But, I am totally open to adoption.
But, let me get to moving. I have a scarf to finish and The Other Guys to watch. I absolutely adore Mark Wahlberg...or as I still like to call him Marky Mark. I always wonder what happened to The Funky Bunch. LOL! The 90s...awesomeness.
So I am fully recovered...sort of...from the park adventure. And, I'm so ready to do it again. It's gotten cold again, so I don't know when we'll have a full on park day. But, I am ready for next time. I plan to buy a bike for myself and/or some skate so we can all ride bikes together. My friend Heather inspired me to bike ride with the boys. She's always posting about the cool stuff she does. She, like me, is also a mom of just boys. I love having 3 boys, although somewhere along the line I did think of having a little girl. But it's too late now for me to carry my old child, the shop is closed. But, I am totally open to adoption.
But, let me get to moving. I have a scarf to finish and The Other Guys to watch. I absolutely adore Mark Wahlberg...or as I still like to call him Marky Mark. I always wonder what happened to The Funky Bunch. LOL! The 90s...awesomeness.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
I Am NOT a Little Kid Anymore
Apparently, I didn't know that. I just assumed my ass was still a kid. Well, it's not. While I was out there at the park yesterday with my boys, I had the GREATEST time ever!!! I was doing back flips, running, playing soccer, throwing the football around, etc. We had a blast. Made a whole day of it. It was 84 so we had a picnic, ate ice cream, Patrick took a nap. It was awesome.
But now, my ass...actually, my back is paying for it. OUCH! Last night it was just a little crampy. Today, it hurts bad. I'm wondering if maybe I sprained it again. I sprained it in 2007 when I taught pole dancing lessons. POLE DANCING, not stripping lessons! It's actually a sport you know. But that's neither here nor there at this point. The point is my back hurts like a muthanucker.
So today, we are having a movie-thon. Starting with Ninja Turtles 1 all the way down to Ninja Turtles 3. Then Up, followed by Despicable Me. Normally, we do not sit in the house all day. There is always something to do. But today, I just can't do it. Sitting for long periods of time hurts. Standing for long periods of time hurts. I'm currently laying on my stomach in the downward dog position. And once Patrick takes a nap, I'm headed to go soak in my tub again. I don't have any pain killers in the house. Yeah, I don't know what the hell I've been thinking to not have some. But I am kicking myself for that now.
The moral of this story? I am NOT a little kid. But damn if I didn't have the best time ever with my boys!!! And I'd do it all over again...and most likely will. ;^)
But now, my ass...actually, my back is paying for it. OUCH! Last night it was just a little crampy. Today, it hurts bad. I'm wondering if maybe I sprained it again. I sprained it in 2007 when I taught pole dancing lessons. POLE DANCING, not stripping lessons! It's actually a sport you know. But that's neither here nor there at this point. The point is my back hurts like a muthanucker.
So today, we are having a movie-thon. Starting with Ninja Turtles 1 all the way down to Ninja Turtles 3. Then Up, followed by Despicable Me. Normally, we do not sit in the house all day. There is always something to do. But today, I just can't do it. Sitting for long periods of time hurts. Standing for long periods of time hurts. I'm currently laying on my stomach in the downward dog position. And once Patrick takes a nap, I'm headed to go soak in my tub again. I don't have any pain killers in the house. Yeah, I don't know what the hell I've been thinking to not have some. But I am kicking myself for that now.
The moral of this story? I am NOT a little kid. But damn if I didn't have the best time ever with my boys!!! And I'd do it all over again...and most likely will. ;^)
Friday, December 17, 2010
Failure is STILL Not an Option
Today, final grades for Fall 2010 semester were published.
Public Speaking I: A
Business Computers Information Systems: A
US History I: A
American Government I: C
Whoop whoop!!! So proud of myself for finishing strong! Okay, well I'm not too excited about the C, but dammit I earned that C and I'm damn proud of it. This semester was quite an experience. I went through a LOT. The hardest thing was trying to balance being a single mom, working, and meeting my own personal needs. I don't have all of it down, but I've gotten a lot better.
I learned that cooking meals at the beginning of the week and labeling them saves time. I also learned that sometimes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with some fruit is a sufficient meal. I learned its okay to let the house be dirty (well, not super dirty because the clean freak in me would have a seizure) during mid-terms and finals. It's also okay to play a little hooky to sleep and take your kids to the park. I learned that voice recorders are the difference between doing well and doing GREAT (thanks Jeff for schooling me). I also learned, maybe the most important lesson, its okay to cry when you're frustrated and need a break.
What a semester. I survived it. My boys survived it. I'm proud of me. My boys are proud of me. And Team Makita* is proud of me. Can't wait for Spring 2011 semester!
*Registration for Team Makita is still open. Requirements: being positive and helping her to shake them haters off
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Outtakes From A Christmas Card
This week I tried to get the boys together so we could go take photos for our Christmas card. It just wasn't happening. I was tired. They were tired. I wanted a nap and a sandwich. They wanted to eat candy canes and watch a movie. So needless to say, taking them to the mall wouldn't have been a good idea. So what did I decide to do? Take pictures at home of course!
This year we have a super cool tree. Somehow all of ornaments got lost or thrown away, who knows/who cares. So I had to buy all new ones. The boys and I got super colorful and had a lot of fun picking out ornaments. Which turned out to be the perfect background for our photos. Here are some silly outtakes.
I really don't know how photographers (the good ones) actually do it. I was worn out just trying to prop my camera up against rolls of Charmin. Okay, I'm lying, it was really Scott's tissue. But does it really matter? They're both soft and get the job done.
But back on topic. So since I don't have a tripod, (actually, I do. I was just too lazy to go into the garage and get it), I had to prop my camera up on the coffee table. Which needless to say, the boys thought it was hilarious. The hardest part was getting everyone to fit in the picture. Somehow, we all kept getting cut out of the photos.
And, then of course, getting people to SMILE was also a pain the ass. For some reason, Patrick was just like "F U Mom, I am NOT smiling". Calm down, he didn't actually say that. But that was the vibe I was getting, lol. So I just gave up on that because I'm not one of those people who just have to have a smiling kid in the picture. Shoot, just everybody knows how Patrick is. So to see him all googly eyed smiling would be a little out of character for him, lol.
Like I said, getting everyone in the picture was a huge problem. In most of the pictures, Patrick is David Ruffin and Cameron, Sean, and me are The Temptations. Or in modern times, we're Destiny's Child and Patrick is Beyonce, lol. And, yes, he was singing "jangle lells, jangle lells, jang jang jang" into the hairbrush.
So I ended up turning one of the toilet paper rolls on its side, and balancing it with two crayons (one in front and one behind it) and then setting a book on top of it to place the camera on. LOL! Who says the game Jenga doesn't teach you anything? There are a lot more photos, but I'm getting tired which is not a good thing cause I need to go buy birthday gifts for Cameron and do a bunch of other stuff I don't want to do like get my brakes fixed. So here's the super finale photo that I finally got that was a really good shot. Still don't know how professionals do it. Hats off to you.
This year we have a super cool tree. Somehow all of ornaments got lost or thrown away, who knows/who cares. So I had to buy all new ones. The boys and I got super colorful and had a lot of fun picking out ornaments. Which turned out to be the perfect background for our photos. Here are some silly outtakes.I really don't know how photographers (the good ones) actually do it. I was worn out just trying to prop my camera up against rolls of Charmin. Okay, I'm lying, it was really Scott's tissue. But does it really matter? They're both soft and get the job done.
But back on topic. So since I don't have a tripod, (actually, I do. I was just too lazy to go into the garage and get it), I had to prop my camera up on the coffee table. Which needless to say, the boys thought it was hilarious. The hardest part was getting everyone to fit in the picture. Somehow, we all kept getting cut out of the photos.And, then of course, getting people to SMILE was also a pain the ass. For some reason, Patrick was just like "F U Mom, I am NOT smiling". Calm down, he didn't actually say that. But that was the vibe I was getting, lol. So I just gave up on that because I'm not one of those people who just have to have a smiling kid in the picture. Shoot, just everybody knows how Patrick is. So to see him all googly eyed smiling would be a little out of character for him, lol.
Like I said, getting everyone in the picture was a huge problem. In most of the pictures, Patrick is David Ruffin and Cameron, Sean, and me are The Temptations. Or in modern times, we're Destiny's Child and Patrick is Beyonce, lol. And, yes, he was singing "jangle lells, jangle lells, jang jang jang" into the hairbrush.So I ended up turning one of the toilet paper rolls on its side, and balancing it with two crayons (one in front and one behind it) and then setting a book on top of it to place the camera on. LOL! Who says the game Jenga doesn't teach you anything? There are a lot more photos, but I'm getting tired which is not a good thing cause I need to go buy birthday gifts for Cameron and do a bunch of other stuff I don't want to do like get my brakes fixed. So here's the super finale photo that I finally got that was a really good shot. Still don't know how professionals do it. Hats off to you.
2010 Has Sucked Monkey Balls
Yes, I do realize there are still X amount of days left. And, yes I did just put an "X" because I'm just too lazy to do the math right now, lol. But still, it has sucked monkey balls minus the good days like my boys' birthdays and the first day of school for me and them. So there have been so many shitty moments with some good days sprinkled in. I don't really want to get into all of it, but I am now a single mom still living in Texas. No, I'm not sorry for the divorce. I tried, he didn't. Now karma is smacking his ass around. (Thank you Karma)
So it's just me and the boys and we're okay. It's been a tough year. I lost my dad in Feb and I miss him so very much. I lost my home in March thanks to the damn guy we were renting from not paying his damn mortgage. Jerk. But thankfully, the bank worked with us and we didn't have to move until the school year ended. And, I almost lost Cameron over the summer. It has just been a really rough year. But, I'm resilient and I'm bouncing back. Even if I am a little more meaner. But, hey it's all about growth right?
So that's all the bad news. The good news? I went back to school this year. Yep, graduating May 2012 or if I'm really focused Dec 2011. Sweet. I am so very proud of myself. I'm kicking ass at school. I've also put myself on a plan to buy a home in 2013. So I have just about 2 years to start making stuff happen. I've resigned myself to pretty much staying here in Texas since I'm pretty much established. It's cool. Cause when the last one leaves the house, I'm going to be on the road traveling all the time. So I'll be here, unless some super fabulous job snatches me up and whisks me away. *crossed fingers* But the absolute best news of all is I still have my Cameron. I love all of my boys. They keep me grounded and they keep me lifted. The thought of losing Cameron this summer still breaks me down to my very core. I couldn't imagine my life without any one of my boys. But this summer I did have to imagine it and it was utterly painful and heart wrenching. And I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Thankfully, I don't have any enemies....wait, that's not true. But still, you get the idea.
So 2011 has to be much better, right? Cause if it's not, I'm just going to have to put on my big girl panties and steel toe boots and kick the shit out of it. ;^)
So it's just me and the boys and we're okay. It's been a tough year. I lost my dad in Feb and I miss him so very much. I lost my home in March thanks to the damn guy we were renting from not paying his damn mortgage. Jerk. But thankfully, the bank worked with us and we didn't have to move until the school year ended. And, I almost lost Cameron over the summer. It has just been a really rough year. But, I'm resilient and I'm bouncing back. Even if I am a little more meaner. But, hey it's all about growth right?
So that's all the bad news. The good news? I went back to school this year. Yep, graduating May 2012 or if I'm really focused Dec 2011. Sweet. I am so very proud of myself. I'm kicking ass at school. I've also put myself on a plan to buy a home in 2013. So I have just about 2 years to start making stuff happen. I've resigned myself to pretty much staying here in Texas since I'm pretty much established. It's cool. Cause when the last one leaves the house, I'm going to be on the road traveling all the time. So I'll be here, unless some super fabulous job snatches me up and whisks me away. *crossed fingers* But the absolute best news of all is I still have my Cameron. I love all of my boys. They keep me grounded and they keep me lifted. The thought of losing Cameron this summer still breaks me down to my very core. I couldn't imagine my life without any one of my boys. But this summer I did have to imagine it and it was utterly painful and heart wrenching. And I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Thankfully, I don't have any enemies....wait, that's not true. But still, you get the idea.
So 2011 has to be much better, right? Cause if it's not, I'm just going to have to put on my big girl panties and steel toe boots and kick the shit out of it. ;^)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
