It's a Wonderful Life

No, I'm not talking about the movie. Which, I actually can't stand. What? Wait? Did she really just say she doesn't like It's a Wonderful Life?! That's absurd! Well, it's true. I also hate The Wizard of Oz, The Sound of Music, and a bunch of other movies. But that's neither here nor there. You can rip me a new one later about that, lol. This is about my life...well, the lives of my boys and myself. And, indeed it is a wonderful life.

We had a great Christmas. The boys are now with their grandparents for the next week. But you know, it's not just Christmas that makes my life with them wonderful. It just is. I spent a lot of time crying, hurting, pissed the fuck off this year. I lost a lot this year. And I spent entirely too much time focused on that. I spent so much time focused on what and who I lost that I didn't fully recognize what I gained. I've said it before and I still mean it. 2010 sucked monkey balls. But, I also failed to realize or at least acknowledge that it was great too.

In hindsight, although it still hurts very much, I am thankful for the year I've had. I broke down many times, but I always got back up. Sometimes I got back up with a limp, sometimes I could only get up on one leg. But, I got up. And at times, when I just couldn't do it, I had people there to help me rise. I lost one of the most important people in my life. The man who has always loved me unconditionally, even when I was in the wrong. My father. My world felt destroyed. And I still miss him so much and some days I have to force myself out of bed because the grief is so strong. He left me, but he didn't leave me alone. I have gained so many wonderful new family members through friendship. I have a support system that lifts me up when I am down, strengthens me when I feel weak, and guides me when I feel lost. My love for my boys carries me through. The love I receive from my support system and boys holds me up. And that is why my life is wonderful.