Mother's Day: Something To Ponder

*giggle* I absolutely love the word "ponder". I plan to use it at least several more times today. So moving forward, a question popped into my head as I sit here watching Good Morning America talk about Mother's Day. Is every mother worth celebrating? Yes, I just went there. Seriously, we all know there are horrible mothers in the world. Mothers who beat their children, neglect their children, use their children for their own personal gain, etc etc. Does this person need to be celebrated? Sure, we all like to pretend mothers are just the cream of the crop. And, yes there are some truly AMAZING women out there. BUT, I am not talking about these mothers. I am asking why should we celebrate these women who don't deserve it.

Now, keep this is mind. I grew up in a horrible situation so my feelings are biased. I remember every Mother's Day as a day I dreaded. I actually hated the two weeks leading up to it and two days following it in which everyone asked "What did you get your mom?". And heaven forbid if you said nothing. Because then you were the world's worst child who didn't appreciate your mother. Or you hear "you've only got one mother." To which I always secretly thought "good, I can't wait until its over.". Harsh, I know. But if you knew my history, you'd understand. But what I hated the most leading up to it was in school (before they started this teaching to the test bull) all activities were themed around women who were known as wonderful mothers. And, then we had to make cards and crafts to celebrate our mom. There were so many times I wanted to say "I don't want to make her something, she doesn't deserve it." And then Mother's Day would come and I'd have to give her the card/craft. I'd have to sit there and tell her how great of a mother she is and basically bullshit my way through the rest of the day. I'd go to church and listen to people tell me how lucky I am to have her and yadda yadda.

Now why am I saying all this? Especially when pretty much all of my fans are mothers themselves? Well, because I want you all to take time and ponder (there's that word again) the flip side of reality for all those children like me who are growing up in bad situations. On Mother's Day as you stop to think about your own children, think about those children out there who have to fake the funk to make it through the day. Those children need to be uplifted in prayer and thought. And if you know a child who does have to make it through the day, hug them. Hug them as tight as you can to let them know that someone IS thinking about them.

Chuck E Cheese: The Place Where Adults Like Me Can Go And Obliterate High Scores

Yes, that's right. You are now reading the blog of the current high score holder of Street Hoops at the Chuck E Cheese in Allen, Tx. Yes, I know you're flattered. You should be. First, I'd like to thank my oldest brother who made it possible for a little girl to grow up and achieve her dream. All the days we hung out at Chuck E Cheese pretending to be apart of random birthday parties so we could score free tokens. Thanks bro! Next, I'd like to thank my old gynecologist who decided April 28th was a good day to deliver my son Sean. Without that birth, I'd have no reason to go to Chuck E Cheese today. Thanks Dr. Bansal, you rock! Of course, I'd like to thank my middle son Sean for letting me steal his birthday thunder as I screamed around the room "take that! Yeah BOY!!!!" complete in the Flava Flav voice. And I'd also like to thank last, but not least, my boys and Derrick who stood by and watched me waste their time by hording all the tokens so that I could smash that high score. Because of you all, I achieved my dream. Too bad it only paid out 4 tickets, but hey, I've got the memories and the high score...at least until someone (who'll more than likely end up on my LIST) comes and breaks it.

As you can see, today was totally awesome for me. Of course I went to work and operated off of only 3 hours of sleep. But, I managed to get everything done today that needed to be done. My middle son Sean was absolutely thrilled with his gifts and cake. And almost burst into sunshine when I told him we were going to Chuck E Cheese. I'd be lying if I said that wasn't also for me too, lol. I love the memories I made with my boys. It couldn't of been a better day.

Back When Mariah Used To Sing, She Inspired Me

I mean like seriously SANG! The kind of singing that brings tears to your eyes because the emotion in their voice brings up all kinds of feelings you didn't even know you had. Mariah used to have me in tears because her voice just brought so much power to the lyrics. Now...not so much. Okay, wait. Her voice still moves me, but its just not her current voice. I hate that breathy sounding crap she does now. I wish she would put her voice back to use.

Anyway, I've been having my ups and downs. Well, a song that just always uplifts me and helps me make it through is Hero. Well, her song Make It Happen also picks me up. But Hero really does it for me. It is just so positive that you can't help but feel revived. I've got a lot going on in my life. And hearing the song just helps me center myself again. Every day is a small battle and being able to win makes me feel like I can conquer anything. And I know its because there is a hero that lives inside of me.

Fake Laughter Kills.....Eardrums

Nothing grates my nerves more than fake laughing. Okay, there are several other things on my "That really gets on my damn nerves" list. But fake laughing is right up there. I was at work this morning and there was this lady laughing like a damn hyena and it was soooooooooo fake. She was trying to flirt with the produce manager and it was just an epic fail. All I could think of was the Janice character from Friends. So on my way out I passed by Mike and said "Hello Mr. Bing! Ehhhhhhhhhhh" <---- you know that annoyingly fake laugh Janice does. Mike cracked up, of course the hyena lady did not. Oh well. Bad flirting is terrible. Bad flirting with a horrible fake laugh is just plain wrong.

Boz Scaggs is White?!

Seriously, I feel like a dumb ass. I've been listening to him for years and somehow I missed this little tidbit. LOL! When I heard it this morning I was like what?! NO!!!! Seriously?! NO!!! So of course the first thing I did when I got home was google him. And sure enough, he's a white guy. Kind of cute too. See above picture.

Does it matter? Nope. I love good music. No matter who makes it. The only thing I hate is bad music. Currently, there is some girl named Kesha(?) that is just making my ears bleed. I want to find this girl and smack her around until her voice box falls out. She should NOT be making music!!! If anybody sees her, please feel free to smack her for me.

Some of my favorite blue eyed singers off the top of my head are...

Michael McDonald
Kenny Loggins
Hall and Oates
Remy Shand
Elliot Yamin
Kris Allen
Boz Scaggs
Steely Dan

I'm Not Super Woman

Where have I been? I honestly don't know. That's a question I don't even know the answer to. A lot has gone on in my life over the last several months. And some time during that period, I stopped being me and just went into a daze. Of course, I still looked like me, talked like me, and projected the ideal image everyone sees of me. But, I wasn't me. I was depressed. I lost myself in my grief and heart ache. For awhile it seemed like everything in the world that could go wrong could. Death, emotional distress, financial hardships, and tragic events. Am I over them? No. And not every issue has been fully dealt with. But, I am dealing with them. And the most important thing for me is to take my time doing it. I'm not Super Woman. I don't have to be her. I don't want to be her. I am ME. And if that's not good enough, then that's just too damn bad.

I am just happy to be alive. I am happy to have my wonderful boys in my life who teach me something new every day. And even though it's been very challenging this year, I still am thankful for my husband. But a relationship without challenges is a relationship without growth according to Prince. And you all know how much I love Prince! And really no matter what happens, I have done a lot of growing personally.

So moving onward, what does this all mean? I don't know. If I knew then I wouldn't learn anything at all. This is a new chapter for me. I'm moving forward with my life. I'm getting back to doing the things *I* enjoy doing. Most importantly, I'm making time for me. All this time, I thought I'd been living my life for myself. In hindsight, I realize that I've been living for everyone but me. And that's the problem. I can't live for my children. Or husband. Or relatives. Or friends. I have to live for Makita. Because I'm the only person who can live for me. And if I don't take care of myself, no one else will.

So I'm taking it one day at a time. I'm not Super Woman.