Don't Leave Me This Way

I know, I know. I've not been blogging as much as I should be. Actually, I have been but I've been blogging privately a.k.a. writing in my physical diary. I've got a lot going on in my personal life right now that I'm working through. In addition, I'm preparing to go back to school in 16 days (yes, I'm actually counting the days), mentoring two new people at work, working on getting a new position at work, getting my sons back into a routine (they just came back from their summer break with their dad), and trying to remember to breathe through it all.

When I sit down and actually think about everything I have going on. And, I mean everything. Work, school, parenting, dance, learning the basics of swimming, biking, and easing back into running (though I'm not running right now because of plantar fasciitis), it's incredibly easy for me to get overwhelmed and start shutting down. So, I start backing away and turning inwardly which causes me a lot of sleepless nights. Or nights in which I fall asleep, but I can't stay asleep. This is one of the many ways in which my anxiety manifests itself. Which is when I find really interesting things, get most of my creative deals, or random ass songs (that are absolutely amazing) play over and over in my head. Hence this blog post's title. Because all night long from 3am until 5:17am (when my mind finally shut the fuck up) Thelma Houston's Don't Leave Me This Way played over and over and over. And here is it for your listening pleasure to suck you in...

Because what better way to deal with anxiety than with a thumping ass soundtrack to back it up? Boom, you're welcome.

So yes, in addition to all the other stuff I deal with, I also live with anxiety. It comes in waves, but sometimes those waves come hard and fast and before I can prepare I've been hit with a tsunami. I actually like to name my tsunamis like the weather man does. For me, giving a name to them takes away some of the fear and panic. So the one I'm currently dealing with is Tsunami Galenda. Kudos to you, if you get the name reference. The other night I saw this posted by one of my friends and I thought to myself, goodness someone finally fucking gets it!

Which made me feel really good and helped calmed me down. I love that I have more friends who are starting to get mental health. Or, have always gotten it and are starting to speak up more about it. I'm not sure why the tide starting turning or even when with the media, but it's starting to feel like I'm seeing something almost every day about some kind of mental illness. And, not just the labeling of killers as mentally ill or making fun of Charlie Sheen.  But legitimate awareness of "hey, some people are dealing with this and here's what you can do to try to help instead of being a dick and calling a woman who is upset bipolar or a man who is depressed a pussy." Dare I say in addition to trying to understand there is more sympathy? In any case, I like what I'm seeing for the most part. Especially the chart above (thanks Chera for that).

Eventually, I'll start blogging consistently again. And, yes I'm working through Tsunami Galenda. Battering down the hatches to minimize damage and seeking support from my personal Red Cross team. They won't leave me this way. And neither will I.