Feel Like I'm Slacking

Maybe because I am? Usually I feel like the hardest working mom in single momhood, but not lately. Usually, I'm so stressed trying to juggle work, family, friends, Makita time, etc. I wish I could say something has changed, but it honestly hasn't. Wait, it has. I know what's changed. I've learned to start living in the moment and just go with the flow.

Don't get me wrong, I still bust my ass. Boys need some project or goodie for school? Better believe my ass is up until midnight or later making sure they have it. A work project still pending? Yep, I'm logging in at night once the boys are settled and putting in another 4 hours at minimum. It's true, I work hard for the life I've created for me and the boys.

But now, I play hard too. I've gotten better at setting boundaries for myself. It's midnight and I still need a dozen more cupcakes? Guess what? Store bought cupcakes won't kill them. 11pm and I still have another account to scrub? Oh well, that customer will survive another day without it.

Life is just too short for me to waste all my time doing things that pull me away from the important stuff. Like simply enjoying my children. When I think about it, I spend at least 40 hours a week at work. This does not include the time 4-5 hours I put in after I get home and the boys are settled. When I think about it, I spend less time than a week with the boys. Weekends not included as I have to alternate the weekends with their dad. Think about it. I drop the boys off at school about 7:30, I don't pick them up from daycare until about 5:30 (on a good day). So truly, I only spend about 3 waking hours with the boys from the time I pick them up until bedtime to have family time. Which includes homework, activities, and dinner. Then I get them up the next morning at 6:30. The hour in the morning (except for my middle who has to get up at 6 because of his awesome turtle skills) is spent getting ready for the day, fixing homework errors, and breakfast. So let's add that up, that's only 24 hours a week, give or take.

I know. I try not to let the time deficient bother me most days. Actually, I try to rectify it most days by surprising the older two at school by having lunch with them and volunteering for events at school. With my younger, we have our special "it's supposed to be a secret, but 5 years old can't keep secrets" donut day. On these days, I go into work a little later so I can spend more time probing the wonders only a 5 year old mind can truly appreciate. And on the weekends they are with me, I do my best to unplug from work completely and not even touch my work laptop. For the most part, I do a great job.

So yeah, I'm slacking I guess. Slacking at the non important and focusing more on the important. That's a feeling I can get used to.