Happy Birthday Patrick

It's not quite his birthday, but I'm already celebrating. On Oct 22, 2008 at 8:01am, Patrick Anthony Johnson shared himself with the rest of the world. I, of course, had had the honor of having an exclusive relationship with him for about nine months prior to his arrival. And, man I tell you it was a crazy nine month ride. He was the one child who gave me morning sickness, made my boobs feel like watermelons, and put me through that whole "I'm so nauseous I can't eat, but damn I'm starving" period. How this kid didn't come out the womb asking "where's the beef?" is beyond me. I literally craved cows. When we moved back to Texas, I would go outside and stare at the cows that lived in the field across from our home and think about how tasty they were. Ha ha! My Patty whack is turning 3 tomorrow. I can't believe it.

Why? I never imagined myself with 3 kids...let alone 3 boys. But let me keep it real for a moment, I never expected myself to have even ONE child. Yet, here I am with 3. So after I had Cameron and Sean, I just knew I was done. But then...a few years later I just had to have one more. And viola! My Patrick is now here.

I put together this video for him. He is currently in love with this song by David Guetta with Usher called Without You. He loves, loves, LOVES this song. His little head starts bopping and his booty shaking. So I took some of my favorite pictures of him and laid the track over it. Ha ha, look at me sounding all studio like.

Girlfriend, Where You Been?

It's been a long, LONG time. And, while it's not unusual for me to take a hiatus from blogging, it is unusual for me to shut down my blog and take it off the market. Some of you inquired to find out what happened. Some of you didn't. Some didn't even notice. LOL. No worries.

So where did I go? I was busy getting my shit together. A lot has happened. A LOT. I needed to take some time and get my life back on track. Well....I shouldn't say back on track. It's not like my life jumped the tracks and derailed. No, I just need to get myself better organized. And, I couldn't stay focused because I had so much going on. So I cut out the little things I didn't really need to be focusing on. But, it's all good now.

I've since moved to Austin since my last post. Actually, it's Round Rock or "the Rock" as some people call it. I just call it the place I live. The boys have gotten so big. Cameron is almost 9, Sean is 7, and Patrick will be 3 tomorrow. I know! I can't believe it either. So why did I move? My job offered me a better position so I took it. It's been a great move for us. The boys are happy and that's a big factor for me. I'd be lying if I said I loved here...I'm trying to. But I miss my friends. Oh well, that's life.

So basically, I've been living my life.

My Cameron Speaks!

This has been on my mind a lot lately and I've been meaning to blog it, but I've had so much on my lately that it's been getting pushed to the side. In Feb of 2006, Cameron had his first day of school at barely 3 years old. His teacher, Mrs. Jenny took him by the hand, lifted it to wave goodbye to me, and walked him into class. I cried my heart out when I got back to my car. You see, this wasn't his first day at a preschool or daycare or Mother's Day Out program. No, he was actually going into an elementary school. Not because he was a super smart 3 year old or a Doogie Houser type. No, he was going because after months of feelings like something was off with my son, I had him tested. I went for months with people telling me I was just jealous that he only said "da da" or that I shouldn't rush him to speak. No, in my heart I knew something was wrong with my son.

I'd always been worried about Cameron. Since the moment I knew he was in my womb, I've loved him. And I vowed to always protect him no matter what. When he was born early at 32 weeks, only 2lbs 12 oz, I knew he might have a difficult life. And, I accepted it. Thankfully, he wasn't born with any illnesses (except jaundice) or anything major. But, apart of me still worried because I just felt something would come along.

So when Cameron had his first birthday and then second birthday without really talking, I became worried. Friends and family told me not to compare him to other children, which I already wasn't doing. Some even teased me saying I was jealous because he wasn't saying "mama". Which was just bullshit. And, actually pretty shitty to say to a mother. But when Cameron finally did start speaking, his words didn't sound like words. I don't know how to really explain it because it's one of those things you have to hear to understand. His words sounded worse than garbled. You just couldn't understand him. I can't even begin to tell you how much it hurt being unable to figure out what was wrong with him when he screamed because I didn't understand him. How angry it made me when strangers gave me looks when they heard him speak. Remind me to tell you the story of the bitch I threw lettuce at in the grocery store for making him cry. I can't even tell you how many times I had to repeat to people "there is NOTHING wrong with my son". I have simply come to learn that people are very insensitive to those who don't fit the mode of normal.

It has been a battle these last five years with Cameron essentially learning how to form words and express himself. Although I've known it for awhile, Cameron has won the battle. But this Friday, we could be making it official at his last IEP/ARD meeting. When Cameron went into the Early Childhood Special Education program in Virginia, he was 3 years old. But his development cognitive skills was of a 22 month old and his speech skills were below normal. At the time, he could only say 4-5 understandable words. Now, he's 8 years old and has an unlimited vocabulary. He is one of the smartest kids in his class and the 2nd best speller in his class. He has truly come a long way.

Now I take Cameron to school everyday. And, instead of having to settle for a wave goodbye initiated by his teacher; I get a very nice and very loud "GOODBYE MOM!!!!"

My Cameron speaks!

Stop Hating on Valentine's Day

Seriously, you simply sound bitter. Calling it a corporate scam holiday makes you sound even more bitter. I really don't get the point of trying to bring everybody else down with you because you're miserable. Why do you want to stop people from feeling loved or appreciated? Spare me the line of "well you should show people how much you love them every day of the year". In theory, we should celebrate everyone's life every day they are alive. Yet, we don't. We only celebrate it one day a year. And, yet no one has a problem that. The same for the 4th of July, Veteran's Day, and Memorial Day. In theory, shouldn't we celebrate our patriotism every day, thank a soldier every day, and remember the soldiers who died in combat every day? Now, yes I do realize there are people who do everyday, especially concerning our soldiers. Yet, no one ever singles out these days. Or any of the other holidays. Except Christmas and Valentine's Day.

Why? Is it because you don't have someone to love and you're jealous of those who do? Because that's how you sound for the most part. Or did you get with a loser of a mate who measures how much you love them with price tags? And now you're broke because of it? Well, sounds like you need a new partner. Are you upset because you didn't get anything at all? Or haven't received anything since elementary school when Valentine's had to be given to everyone in the class? Whatever you're reason(s), why do you think its okay to try to make others feel bad because they enjoy the holiday?

I'm spending Valentine's alone. I'm not whining or hating or complaining. You know what I will do? I will take a little more time out for myself to let Makita know she is appreciated. There is nothing wrong with spending the day by yourself. Perhaps, that's what a lot of people need to do. Take some time out and focus on themselves. I don't love Valentine's Day. But, I definitely don't hate it. It's been here long before me and won't cease to exist because of haters. So stop hating. And acting like you don't take advantage of the 15th and buy 70%+ off candy and chocolate.

Damn This Weather!! I Want to go to School!!!!!

Yeah, see I don't get all excited about snow and rush outside to build snowmen. Or make snow cream (I refuse to make that stuff) or run outside to sled. And all that other jazz. Nope. Not me. The snow to me is simply snow. The stuff that comes out of the sky when the weather is right for it. Yes, I let the boys play in it, etc. But it's just not a big deal to me. This week when they canceled school for the boys, I was okay with it. A lot of my friends, understandably so, we're going bat shit crazy over the school being canceled day after day. I'm guessing that's rare for this area. I, on the other hand, was cool. It didn't really phase me. 1) I was sick and didn't care to be outside getting them to and from school. 2) I didn't want to get out of bed, instead I wanted to sleep in. 3) I wanted them home so that I didn't have to leave the comfort of my bed. LOL

So the boys were home all week. Fine. The icy situation also caused my school to close on Wednesday. Which meant I couldn't go to government class. No big deal. I'm no fan of government. It's a requirement so I deal with it. No problem. But now, they've done it. They've pissed me off. School is canceled until Monday for me. MONDAY!!!!! This means no Saturday class for History. I am absolutely livid!!! Are you kidding me?!?! I want my HISTORY CLASS!!!! It's not fair!! We just started on the US West and how Hollywood messes it all up. And how Chinese immigrants are the reason the "west was won". And how white "settlers" through Manifest Destiny ruined the lives of Native Americans. Yeah, I said it. Don't worry, it's not meant to be mean or to construe racism. I don't have white people or any ethnicity. It's said in truth. Think I'm lying? Look it up. Facts don't lie. We were just getting to the GOOD stuff and now this?!?!

I love school, especially my History class. I'm so bummed.

Stupid weather