I Weep For The State of Today's Youth and For My Thighs

On this 5th day of May, known as Cinco de Mayo, I wept. Okay, I actually laughed my ass off and then shook my head in despair. I was working one of my stores when these 3 teens come onto my aisle. The three have a conversation.....

Blond girl: We need to get something for the Cinco celebration
Redhead girl: Like something from Mexico?
Boy: Yeah, we need something authentic.
Redhead: Hmmm...oh look we can get some Doritos. They're from Mexico.
Blond: Seriously? They're so good.
Redhead: yeah, they like import them from Mexico.


I almost peed my pants laughing so hard. I didn't have the heart to tell them those chips were made in Irving, TX. I can't believe how serious they were too. This is a sad, sad day for America when our teens think chips that say "American made" are imported .

Moving onward, I wept for my thighs today. So initially when I started gaining the weight back, I was like okay. It didn't bother me because well, while my ass is fat. It also looks AMAZING! I finally got some junk in my trunk. And who can blame a girl for liking a little badunk ka dunk? But my poor thighs are the ones suffering for my vanity. Almost all of my pants are tight around the thighs. And since I refuse to buy new pants, that means I need to be able to wear the ones I currently have comfortably. So what does this all mean? It means the fat ass has to go. *sigh* If I could keep the ass and lose the thighs, I'd be super happy. But I know one can't survive without the other. So I'm accepting it. It's cool. I had almost a whole year of a nice, plump butt. I

And I'm Supposed to Care Why?

I'm sorry I left my "I give a damn" out in the rain. So it no longer works right.

Seriously, I've had it up to here today. I've gotten to the point where I just don't give a hot mess. Obviously, if you're reading this blog, it doesn't apply to you. It applies to the random dumb asses I know who feel the need to tell me shit I don't care about. Oh yeah, if you hadn't noticed I've gone back to cussing. Not full blown cussing like Samuel L Jackson cussing. But just a sprinkle here or there. Anyway, my cussing is not the issue. It's people who just assume I care about their mundane lives. Case in point, I'm at work shelving chips and this lady has the nerve to step to me and start asking me if working for my company caused me to gain weight. Seriously, what kind of question is that shit? I mean yeah I know I'm a fat ass but that's my damn business. And no it wasn't the job. It's the eating at all times of the day and this sitting on my ass that caused me to have a fat ass. So anyway moving back to this lady. She went on to tell me how when she started a job she gained all kinds of weight and blah blah blah I stopped listening blah blah blah. I turned around and said "I'm sorry, I left my give a damn out in the rain. It doesn't work right anymore." She walked off right quick after that.

Who did she think she was that she could come up to me and tell me about my fat ass? I don't know her like that. Well, okay I do kind of know her. I see her every once in awhile because she works for the store. But that doesn't justify or give her the right to comment on my fat ass. Yeah, I realize that my pants are now snug--okay who am I fooling? these damn pants are tight as hell--around the hips and thighs. But that's MY business. Ain't nobody complaining about her double child. Shoot. She better back up before she really gets told off. I don't care about her and her weight issues. I didn't ask her nothing. I was just standing there doing my thing, talking to my coworker, minding my own business. And here she come all sappy faced and bubbly. It's too damn early in the morning to be all bubbly. Shoot. Having the nerve to tell me about my fat ass. Heifer please *roll eyes*

And, no I'm NOT being sensitive.....okay, maybe a little.

Thinking I'm Going To Be a Fat Ass For a Little While Longer

I was totally pumped this morning to get my ass back in gear. But then life hit me with another full frontal kick to the face. So now I have no motivation to do it. In fact, I don't want to do anything. This post is really just a waste of time as I'm not really saying anything. It's not even about the weight. I just feel like I suck at everything right now. ~sigh~ Maybe next week or even tomorrow I'll be done with this feeling and will be ready to kick my fat ass into gear.

Mrs. O Can Do No Wrong

First of all, I don't give a hot damn if you didn't vote for President Obama, don't like him, or whatever. That's your prerogative and honestly I don't care. This is MY blog. But guess what? This post isn't even about him. Nope. It's about his other half. The beautiful, always classy First Lady Michelle Obama. YES!!!! This woman is just a huge breath of fresh air. Intelligent, caring, upstanding, and FIERCE! The woman can work any outfit from a no name designer to a world class famous one. I could go on and on about the woman.

Stupid Allergies, Super Sweet Netbook.

My allergies are KILLING me!!!! Seriously! Every morning I wake up with itchy, red, yucky oozy eyes. And my throat feels like someone is rubbing sandpaper against it. Damn you allergies. I've been having a major love affair with showers to wash the pollen off and Claritin. I never had allergies before I lived in Texas. Thanks Texas!

I got a new netbook today! Whoo hoo! My old one was acting wonky. The power cord wasn't working anymore and the mouse pad was just worthless. So the hubster and youngins took it to Best Buy for me while I was at work. Well, the good old Geek Squad said my netbook was too old to be repaired. Imagine that. I just got it last year for Mother's Day. Oh well, I'm sure that meant it was ancient in geek speak. But ask me if I care? Go ahead....ask me. Cause I don't give a hot mess how old it is. I love love LOVE my new one. It's wider, but thinner. It's got a comfort mouse pad. And a bunch of cool stuff that the other one didn't have. Sweet!