Feet Don't Fail Me Now!

So last night I was talking to a friend from childhood about weightloss and how I can't seem to get active and STAY active. I'm not going to lie, I'm a workout groupie. What's a workout groupie? Well, like a regular groupie (minus all the nasty stuff) a workout groupie wants all of the end results (the kickass body, amazing abs, tight booty, etc), but doesn't want to put in the WORK required to get the end results. Okay, that's not fair. I always BUY DVDs, equipment, accessories, etc with the intention of sticking to the routine, but somewhere down the road I get bored and/or lazy. So I stop. So anyway back to what I was saying, talking to my friend I realized just how much walking I used to do. Having no car will do that. So I decided to challenge myself to put away the car keys and to break out my legs. Yep, my two trusty friends who have been with me since birth. Who have stumbled with me and stood tall with me.

The challenge? Walk every day for at least an hour. AND instead of jumping in my car to go to Walmart or Target or any of the stores close to my house, walk there. Now this doesn't mean to do this for trips that require large purchases, but for little ones. Like do I really need to get in my car to return a Redbox DVD or pick up paper towels? No. That's just me being a lazy fat ass. Armed with nothing but my boy in his stroller, 2 bottles of water, an iPod, and a little towel.

Today turned out to be day 1. I just knew I would walk it with no trouble at all. WRONG! All kinds of shit went wrong. Well, not wrong, but not exactly right either.

So my son and I left the house today at 10:00am, but then turned around because we forgot the iPod...and the mailbox key...and the water...and the sunglasses. So after we got all that together (but not the sunglasses because I couldn't find them, more on that later) we finally left at 10:24. Then I realized something, we only had one iPod. One iPod.....ONE iPOD. Let that sink in for a minute. See the problem? I wanted to get my fitness jam on, he wanted to watch Cars. No big deal, I could hang without music. I could just hum or something. Right? WRONG! At first it wasn't a big deal, I was humming along, feeling great. We had just gotten started and were descending down the first hill near my apartments. A breeze.

Until we came to our first empty field. Full of flowers. Now my son was all good in his stroller, enjoying his movie, sipping his water. Me, on the other hand? I was all kinds of fucked up. The flowers assaulted me like I had stolen their lunch money. I had gone too far to turn around and get some Claritin for myself. I told myself it wasn't that bad. A few sneezes wouldn't kill me. I made it through the first field, then the second, then the third, but the fourth field...that one KILLED me! I sneezed so much I had to stop to catch my breath. But I kept pushing on because Wal-greens was in sight. A few minutes later, we made it to Wal-greens where I returned our Redbox movies, took a few sips of water, and then carried on. You would think that since I was at a PHARMACY and had just survived a brutal attack by flowers I would, I don't know, GO INSIDE AND GET SOME CLARITIN!!! Nope, not my dumb ass. I didn't want to spend money on something I knew I already had at home. Right...apparently, that logic is very selective because that's not how it went down at Wal-mart.

So renewed with some water and a quick rest, we moved onto Wal-mart. This time we had to pass by a few businesses, KFC (barf), Wendys (mmm...frosties!), H-E-B (I wouldn't shop there to save my life), and a few other places. No problem. The terrain was flat so it was all good. Hell, I even starting singing the lyrics to Notorious Thugs by Bone, Thugs, N Harmony, and Biggie Smalls (I was really surprised cause I haven't heard that song in years). But then came what almost became the death of me. A hill. The incline was probably about 60 degrees, not too bad, but goodness I wasn't ready for it. It is so much different when you drive in a car.

But I refused to be defeated, I could see Wal-mart in front of me. I started hyping myself up. "Girl, you got this. You GOT this!" It was all good. WRONG! Alongside that hill was another field. But then I realized it was the field where the cows graze. So I got excited because I would get to see cows. Nope. No cows. Apparently, they were grazing somewhere else because they weren't around. Instead, it was another field of fucking flowers. I sneezed so bad at one point, I saw little stars and my head started pounding. I'm sure at this point I looked like a scene from out of the Walking Dead. Blood shot eyes, saliva dripping from my chin, staggering around. Miserable.

But once I made it over that hill, I was home free! Wal-mart was just on the other side. I was just a few feet from victory. In just a few minutes, I would burst through the doors into it's icy cold goodness, have a long swallow of water, and get those damn paper towels that had started this horrific decent into hell.

Finally, I made it. Victory. Sweet. Victory.

I walked inside, mentally high fiving myself and then I stopped. It was hotter than a mofo in Wal-mart. WTF?! I was NOT amused. Really, Wal-mart? You couldn't turn on the damn air?! I told myself to just shake it off and go walk through the freezer section. On my way there, I ran into my "Jake Ryan" (who? google it and Sixteen Candles). Damn. No, not damn. FUCK!!!!!!!!!! Double fuck!!!!

I am secretly in love with this man. Okay, not in love. But I am seriously crushing on him. I see him and I get giggly, and my knees get weak, and he says my name and my heart flutters. I've been digging him for almost a year now. I met him last year when I moved here and goodness he is just so sexy. So anyway, he sees me (looking like death warmed over) and says hey. He asks me if I'm okay. "You look a little worn down". I blushed and told him I had walked here. He says oh really? and asks me how far. So I looked down at my pedometer and said (casually like I wasn't in a hurry to get to the freezer section) "oh just 2 miles or so". Yeah, I said that shit all carefree like it was nothing, like it was something I did every day. Well, he said he was impressed and started telling me about his fitness routine. I may or may not have been picturing him naked while he described his routine. He asked me what section I was heading to and I didn't want to tell him that I was headed to rub my body against the frozen broccoli and carrots, so I said I was headed to Electronics to look for another iPod. So he walked back with me and we started talking music. It was nice. It was fun. It was awesome. If only I hadn't been covered in sweat and looking grimy. But oh well, it went much better than the last time I had saw him. So after 20 minutes we parted ways. He went back to work and I pretended interest in iPods before I headed over to the freezer section.

So remember that logic I have of hating to buy something I already have at home? Yeah, neither did I when I was in Wal-mart. I bought a new fanny pack (what? I gotta carry my stuff in something!) and another pedometer. Even though I have one that I was WEARING that works perfectly fine. Yeah, I just wanted a newer one for some stupid reason. And I bought some sunglasses. Yep. Money well wasted. LOL.

The trip home was less eventful as we walked on the opposite side of the street. This side is well manicured because it's where all of the Dell buildings are and the Sears call center is. So less fields to walk by meant less sneezes.

So I made it through today's walk. Absolutely crazy, but I did it. Now the real challenge will be doing it all again tomorrow.