I'm Famous Now

Yep, I'm famous now. So you better get my autograph now. I'm going to be bigger than Oprah by the end of the week, lol. I'm still gushing and geeking out about being called by Sen. Obama on The Ellen Show. It was awesome. Today, I was contacted by a Barack blogger to share my story.

http://www.positivelybarack.com/2007/10/31/barack-obama-ellen-and-makita

It was an awesome experience that I'll never forget. Since I'm too lazy to rewrite my entire story over again, just click the link.

Port-A-Potties Were Created by The Man to Keep Us Down!!!

Mmm...hmm, that's right! The man created port a potties to keep us down. And when I say the man I mean men. That's right they want to keep us (women) down. Think about it. Who else doesn't give a damn where they pee? It sure as hell isn't women. We take pride in where we go. That's why we spend countless hours thinking about how we're going to decorate our bathrooms, the best towels, hand soap, shower curtains, whether it all matches. Men don't give bathrooms any thought. The few that do get lots of kudos from me. Now, don't quote me, but I'm pretty sure port a potties were created before women got all liberated and started burning bras. I think they created them to discourage women from leaving the house. They wanted us at home having the 2.5 kids and dog while baking fresh bread and cooling down their beers. So they created the port a potty because they know women are very sensitive about where we will go. Come on now, we have all held off on going to the bathroom at least once or twice because the bathroom was just so disgusting. I once held my pee almost 2 hours because I did not want to go pee in a gas station bathroom. Granted, most gas stations are getting much better with keeping up the cleanliness of the bathrooms.

Port a potties are just disgusting and they make my skin crawl. I had the worst time trying to use one. I had no choice. I was in the middle of pumpkin patch and had no other option. Normally, I would just held it together, but this was not the time to be playing around. The damn thing would lean everytime I moved forward. I thought for sure I was going to end up like that guy on Cheaters who got caught cheating with some guy's wife and tried to hide in a port a potty. Dumb ass. The chick's husband pushed over the port a potty with the guy inside. LMAO!!! It makes me laugh just thinking about it. That guy must of smelled worse than dirty ass. Seriously, I would of cried rivers if that would of happened to me and I was sure it was.

The damn things are so small, you can barely turn around in them. You can't hold onto the walls to help support you while you pop a squat because the walls are so filthy. I don't even have to tell you how gross they smell. It's like smelling sun baked piss. Yuck!

So the moral of the story is beware of port a pottys.

*disclaimer* I *heart* men. Especially, my own. Please do not go out and throw rocks at them...well, maybe just a pebble.

*Gasp* I Exercised On A Sunday!

I'm back on the ball, literally. Last week I was at Barnes and Nobles and I just could not resist their bargain aisles. You know the ones that happen to just be strategically placed by the checkout? Well, I've been intrigued by their workout kits. A few months ago I bought the Jump Into Fitness dvd kit that included a booklet, dvd, and jump rope. Well, I liked the concept behind the idea. I was a kid once + I had a jump rope = "this should be a whole lot of fun and easy." Well, it was and it wasn't. I still use the jump rope from time to time. But the idea of putting a dvd in the kit was stupid in my opinion. I'm not going to jump rope in my living room while trying to follow a dvd. So basically I only had the book. Let me tell you now and save you some trouble. Jump roping and reading a book is not a good idea. Unfortunately, I could never fit busting my ass while jump roping into my schedule. Just never seemed to work out. So I always ending up reading the book late at night and then jump roping days later after I had forgotten what I read. In the end, I just got lazy and said "whatever". The dvd is now lost, the book is under my bed, and the jump rope is in my bedroom laying on the floor.

Okay, so back to the original story. So I was in Barnes and Nobles waiting to checkout and I saw their Ball and Band kit. I've always wanted to try the ball classes at the gym, but no, that just wasn't going to happen any time soon. The times I took just the step classes at my gym, it was horrible. They went left, I went right. They stepped up, I stepped off. So in the end I've decided for my sake and their safety, I'm only doing step aerobics at home. Back to Barnes and Nobles, I bought the kit. It included a dvd, booklet, resistance band, and exercise ball. The moment I got home, I blew up the ball, stretched out the band a little, and read through the book. Now in my mind, I was getting my exercise on. But in reality, I was sitting on the sofa eating some mini chocolate cakes. No, no... I will not feel guilty about eating the cakes. They were the little mini ho ho cakes from Hostess. They now have them in the 100 calorie packs. I like them a lot and for less than a 100 calories they are a winner in my book.

So today, I finally got off my sofa and did the workout. In my defense though from doing no exercise last week, even though I said I would, I had a lot of things going on medically so I was unable to exercise. But now I'm okay so I'm good to go. Well, the workout was crazy. In a good way. Their are two instructors, a male and a female, Mark and Dina. Mark was a nice piece of man candy to look at. Very inspiring. I did the level 1 workout for beginners. It wasn't too fast paced or too slow for me. I liked it a lot and was surprised when I started to break a sweat. The cardio section was a lot of fun. I liked bouncing on the ball while incorporating other moves like squats and stuff. The only thing I didn't like was I felt they could of done a better job explaining the core muscles to their viewers. I know what my core muscles are, however some people people don't. So if you're going to claim that it's very basic and great for beginners, then you need to start explaining things a beginner may not know. But all in all, it was fun.

I don't know how often this will be in my workout routing, but I'm definitely not ruling it out.

Alright Now...Let's Make It Happen

Okay, so I know I said I'm starting this week off right. And, I am....but, I'm not so sure I'll be able to just jump right back into the gym tomorrow. I've had a lot going on last week. I've been really sick and in pain. So I'm off to the doctors on Tuesday. Hopefully, I'm not dying. I don't know what's going on with my body, but it hurts and I need to get that squared away before I do anything strenuous. So tomorrow, I am going to the gym, but I'm keeping it light. Once I know death isn't knocking on my door, I'm on my way to the gym.

This Time I Mean It

Yeah, this just isn't working. I'm still trying though. I haven't done anything this week, except go walking. It's that wonderful time of the month when every woman just feels so extra special in her life. *rolls eyes* I don't do anything at this time of month. I'm really pushing it with just the walking. At least now I know why I felt so down and hard on myself last week. I should of figured it out though. So this week I feel crappy, but I'm not beating myself up anymore.

Next week it's back to the gym and to my regular workout routine. Plus, my best friend is giving me her elliptical trainer. The only problem is I live in Richmond, Va and she lives in New Orleans, La. I have no idea how I'm going to get it here, but I want it. She has no idea how to get it out of her house and to the shipping place, but she wants to give it to me. I'm thinking if she can take it apart and put it in a box, we can have UPS or Fed Ex pick it up and then deliver it to me. I swear if I get it I will use it every single day.

I really need to get my butt into gear because the hubster's high school reunion is getting closer and closer. I basically have about a month now to whip it into shape. I keep saying every day I'm going to do it, yet, I haven't. So this time I mean it. No more Mc Fatty Fat Fat. I'm going to do it. I have to before I drop dead or get diabetes or something. I can't afford to have a heart attack. If I'm gone who else is going to spread my bubbly goodness? See, so many people need me. So I'm going to do it. I will.