Biggest Loser, Billy Blanks, and Big Breasts

So today is the kick off day for DAM's Biggest Loser contest. This morning I weighed myself and took my measurements. Funny, how I've lost inches (except around my belly) while I was pregnant. I guess that crappy ass pregnancy workout DVD I bought paid off. So I think I'm off to good a start. Just slightly under 200lbs. Yeah, 198lbs. Normally, I'd be ashamed, but eh...whatever. It's only temporary. My ideal weight is in the 140s, but since I'm not willing to starve myself and live at the gym, somewhere in the 160s. So I'm pumped. All the ladies are wishing one another good luck. I hope we all meet our goals. Because in the end we're all winners for just getting out there and saying goodbye to fat.

I did my morning routine of yoga once I got up to help rejuvenate myself after a long night of "wah...I don't want to sleep in my crib...wah...I want you to hold me all night long...wah wah wah." Okay, so Patrick can't talk, but if he could that's exactly what he would say. So after yoga I took my measurements and weight. And then went and ate a nutritiously delicious breakfast of eggs and toast with a glass of orange juice. Then I took my son, Sean, to ride his bike while I jogged along with Patrick in his stroller. Okay...I'm lying, I didn't joke. I walked along. But, it was a brisk walk. So there.

So I'm off to a good start and decided to go old school and broke out my 1998 Taebo VHS tapes. That's right, I said Taebo V H S. Stop hating. Billy worked my ass. My thighs are still feeling the burn. But that's okay because Billy makes it all better. I love how concerned he is with all his little commentary. "How you doing? You feeling alright? Just take your time. I believe in you." Ha ha ha. Billy is classic. I love Billy, but Billy doesn't love us big breasted girls. Seriously, all that jumping around and "double time" reeks havoc on my girls. Not cool, Billy. Not cool. I hate to break it to you brother, but not all of us are like Sandy (the annoyingly cheerful bottle blond standing behind you to the left). We have breasts. And they hurt when they're flapped around. Yeah, yeah, I know...get a good sports bra. Like I haven't already thought of that. Do you not realize how hard it is to find a good sports bra when your breasts are bigger than some small dogs? Oh wait, you don't know Billy because you're a GUY! I digress. You keep me motivated with your workouts and I'll work on strapping down the girls.

Plain and Simple: I'm a Fat Ass

Seriously, I'm a fat ass. I mean, really, who am I kidding? I know it. So why am I continuing to live this lie that I keep telling myself. I know that I have weight issues. Every year I keep telling myself that I'm going to do something about my weight. That I'm going to get off my lazy ass and start working out. And every year I do get off my lazy ass and start working out. I even manage to knock off a couple of pounds, lose a couple of inches, and squeeze my Betty Crocker thighs into a pair of old jeans. Nice! So what the fuck?! Why can't I keep this weight off? Why can't I keep up with my weight loss and manage it? I'll tell you why. It's because I fucking suck. I give up so easily. I have one bad day and I let it snowball into a bad week, then a bad month, and then I just say fuck it and stop working out and call up my old friends Betty, Duncan, and Little Debbie. And it irritates me. I know I can do better. I know I want to do better. But argh, I never do.

Now before anyone points out that I just had a baby 4 months ago, yeah I'm aware of that. I know there is supposed to be left over weight. Trust me, that is duly noted. But I'm not talking about that weight. I'm talking about the belly fat caused by Slurpees and hot dogs, not a placenta and an actual baby. The Betty Crocker thighs, Dunkin Donuts belly, and ogre like arms are all a cause of my poor ass eating habits. This is me taking responsibility for it. I'm not denying it. Because as I said earlier, I'm not kidding anyone. Yeah, I look fucking drop dead gorgeous with clothes on, but I want to be super sexy naked. So hot that my husband is late for work every morning because he's trying to get some early morning action because he's so distracted with my beautiful body. Now of course he already thinks I'm the hottest thing walking around. But blah blah blah, that's nice. But that's not how I feel.

Soooooooooooooo, here we go again. Makita on her journey to losing weight. But this time there's a twist. I've joined a local Biggest Loser contest. Yeah baby that's right. I'm fixed to attempt to lose weight all for a contest. Whatever it takes, right? I'm actually really excited and hope I win. So I'm going to give it my all. The contest starts tomorrow and ends in May. So how am I going to do it? I'm going back to kickboxing. I'm also attempting to change my diet. I'm saying attempting because we all know Ms. Makita loves french fries. Plus, whenever I get on this whole "I'm only going to eat healthy" stuff, it never works out because I get too caught up on trying not to make a mistake. So I'm just going to go with the flow and not beat myself up. The plan is to have fun while losing weight and hopefully win the money.

So here we go again. Makita's attempt to lose weight while hoping to win the money through kickboxing. We'll see how it goes. Tomorrow, I'll post my new weight and measurements.

FYI, for those of you wondering. Since we had a baby last year, we didn't go to St. Lucia. But if this contest works out for me and I lose weight, I'll look great by the time summer rolls around. Let's hope for the best people.

I'm Not Pregnant Anymore!!!!

Okay, so I was never pregnant. But a few months ago this kid told me "My mom is having a baby, are you having a baby too?" Can you imagine how fucking horrible it is to have a 5 year old ask you if you are pregnant?!!! It was so not cool. Of course, he didn't know any better. But still, that's rough. So I have to admit, my pooch was starting to look like a baby was growing int there (thank goodness there wasn't). I needed to get my ass in gear and I have!!! I'm doing really well. My belly no longer looks like its got another little munchkin in there. Its still not where it needs to be, but hey, as long as I don't look like it time to start planning the baby shower I'm good.

Today, I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I threw up after class a few times. I was getting my workout a little too intense. I had never taken a class with this instructor today. I don't know if I'll be able to do another class with her. But I'm not giving up. She pushed us to the edge. I just need to step back and maintain what I can do. I feel kind of crappy now though because of the intense workout.

I've restarted my No Fast Food Challenge today. I was really bad over the weekend. I ate pizza everyday. I know, I know. Makita, you've been doing so damn well. Well, not to make excuses, but I fell briefly back into the cycle after hearing about the death of a really close friend. So...I'm just going to skip over what happened and act like it never did. I think that is why I pushed myself so hard in class today. Well, I definitely learned my lesson.

I Want a Divorce!!!!

So today the hubster and I were talking and I started telling him about this book I've been reading that my KB instructor recommended. So I was telling him I haven't lost weight, but I've lost body fat. So I get this idea to calculate his body fat. Turned out that wasn't the brightest idea. He has less than 9% body fat! WHAT THE HELL!!!! Of course, I know men and women differ. But, come on now! Less than 9%!!! That's crazy. However I do see how it's possible. Everyone always jokes about him being small. But he's very athletic and lean. His body fat percentage is considered equal to that of a professional athlete by the U.S. Navy. Here I am with almost 4 times the body fat he has. That's okay. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get that super, sexy body that's right for me. I'm still shocked though. Unbelievable.

So, I've also started reading "YOU On A Diet: The Owner's Guide to Waist Management" by Dr. Oz and Dr. Rozem (yes, the Oprah guys). I am really loving it. It's a fun, easy read I like the fact they understand not everyone is meant to be a size negative Paris Hilton. We all have different body shapes and structures. Come on, if you look at me its very hard to believe my weight. So I'm recommending this book. It also has a 14 day plan at the end of the book, but I'm not there yet. When I get there, I'll keep you posted.

A New Approach, Same Method

Alright, so this morning I weighed myself and almost burst into tears. I've gained weight!!!! What the fudge monkey balls? So I headed on into kickboxing class, which was a real treat because I never get the chance to go on Mondays. So anyway, I was in a bit of a funk, but class got me back up to speed. The last two classes have been more of a boot camp with strength training and muscle conditioning that kickboxing. I thought I was going to die at first, but now I'm getting the hang of it. So after class I went to talk with the instructor about what's going on with my body. How can I be gaining weight when I'm doing the right stuff to tone it up. Well, to my surprise, although I think I knew this somewhere in the back of my head, I'm gaining muscle. Since I've lost a little off my waist and so much body fat I'm making progress. He says I need to kick the scale like a bad habit and pay attention to inches and body fay percentage. If I keep looking at the scale, I'm going to get discouraged. So yeah for me for knocking off body fat.

If you've been keeping up with my weight loss status then you'll notice I changed the "My Stats" format and added an "Overall Goal" section. Also, the measurements have fluctuated a bit after looking at my written journal. Some of the measurements were off. So now I'll be measuring my bust, waist, hips, and thighs. I love my hips and thighs though, but what I wouldn't give to get rid of these breasts. I know it is going to take a lot of upper body work to help this area. I would like to at least go down one band size. Just one, I'm not asking for all of it to go. I know the hubster wouldn't be happy with that one, lol. But yeah...I'm still hyped and focused!!!!